Reflecting on My Group

When the semester first began, I was not very excited about the idea of a long-term group project. I have never been a big fan of group work. In high school I often felt that I ended up carrying the burden of the work in group projects. Here at Juniata, that doesn’t happen as often, but my schedule is so hectic that finding time to meet with a group is very stressful. In either case, I have always preferred to work independently.

Looking back on the semester, this experience working in a group was relatively positive and met my expectations. While it was still stressful to meet, we managed. I think one of the main attributes our group had was flexibility. We did not stick to the meeting time set at the beginning of the semester, but found the time that worked best for everyone’s schedule, each instance we needed to meet. My group was also very good at communicating through email and text messages, which minimized misunderstandings. About myself, I learned that I value efficiency. It upsets me when people are late or waste time. I also have trouble being productive if there is too much information coming at me at once. This seemed to happen to other members of the group as well. We would be discussing the ideas for the project and what we wanted to write about, and it would become very overwhelming and frustrating for the person typing the paper at that time. Some members of the group were very detail-oriented while others were good at making connections between concepts. Learning to draw on one another’s strengths took some time but made us a more successful group as the semester wore on. In the end, I learned a lot more from the project than I would have on my own because I was exposed to not only my own viewpoints and what is in the literature, but also got two other insightful perspectives on the issues at hand. Even though I still prefer to work independently, this experience showed me that group work can be a very positive experience if there is a lot of clear, open communication, and when everyone in the group is willing to pull their weight.

Observing Myself in Conflict

After taking this course, it is easier to understand my own choices and behaviors in conflict. For example, I have a conflict with my mom regarding how often and for how long I come home. Because I have a collaborative conflict style, it is very important to me to have open communication regarding my own and the other’s parties needs and interests in the conflict situation. For example, I feel deceived and frustrated if I find out about an important interest of the other party after a decision has already been reached. In this example, I decided to go on a trip over winter break, and after I had already made these plans, my mom expressed negative feelings about the relatively short amount of time I will be spending at home over the break. I was upset and frustrated when she expressed these feelings to me. Reflecting on what I have learned this semester, not only was I upset about the lack of communication, which is very important to me, but I also felt that my identity was being attacked in some ways. I care about my family very deeply and felt that my mom was suggesting otherwise. I place a lot of value on the time I spend with my family, but I know that I will not always have a lot of physical time with them, so it is important that I feel I can effectively preserve those relationships from a distance as well. At the same time, my independence is very important to me, and any threat to that makes me somewhat defensive. As a collaborator, it is important to me that everyone’s interests and needs are met whenever possible and that relationships are preserved, so I try to ask questions and gain input from my mom before making decisions about what I will do over semester breaks, and weigh these in making my own decision. After I found out about her feelings regarding my traveling over the semester break, we talked about the situation. I found out that she is worried I am not taking enough down time and am burning myself out, and that she is concerned about spending time with me before graduation, since I will most likely be moving or traveling again. We were able to come to a collaborative decision in that I will only be home for a short time over winter break, but I will spend spring break at home rather than going on a vacation or a volunteer trip, like I typically do. The fact that we were able to resolve this conflict fairly successfully really exemplifies the importance of what we learned this semester regarding listening and communicating and taking the time to understand what the other parties want and need, while still standing up for your own interests. It is definitely easier now to see conflict as a phenomenon somewhat separate from the people involved, and I find that I am often able (although it is difficult to actually do so), to step outside of the conflict to examine my own behavior and what is really happening in the conflict.

Let me accommodate you at my expense!

Throughout the semester I have really honed in on what conflict is, how to identify it, and how to possibly solve it. Along with learning about conflict, I have been able to apply concepts learned in class to my own life and my own conflict style. In class we learned that there are many different conflict styles including ones such as competition, compromising, and accommodating.

As a person who is faced with conflict on a daily basis, I have had plenty of experiences and chances to explore my own conflict style. I really try to maintain any peace within a situation when I have the opportunity to do so, and because of this I tend to follow an accommodating conflict style. This type of style focuses on maintaining the harmony and agreeing with the other side. I am a firm believer compromising and finding a resolution that will work for both sides thus making both parties happy, however I am more of an accommodating person because I tend to give the other side more, and will ultimately jeopardize a little bit of my own happiness to see the other side reach what they want.

Ending My Conflicts... Quickly.

Conflicts ultimately come to end. For me, my own conflicts tend to end in a similar way. I’m not a person who likes to drag out arguments and will do whatever I can to quickly resolve any issues currently facing me. I firmly believe that the reason my conflicts end early is due to the fact that I hardly feel like using the needed energy to fight over something that can usually be easily solved.

In the world around me, conflicts seem to both follow my own style of using quick resolutions, yet other conflicts are seen as dragging on for years. In a personal belief I feel like the size of the conflict plays an immense role. For example, a quick resolution is much more achievable in an interpersonal setting versus a quick resolution in a conflict between countries (war/politics). These large-scale conflicts usually take a much longer and detailed resolution.

My Conflict Style: Hybrid

According to the quiz we took in class, my own personal conflict style is collaboration, followed very closely by accommodation. The only style I scored especially low on is dominating. Reflecting on these results and thinking about my personal conflict experiences, I think that my conflict style varies significantly based on the type of conflict, the context, and the other parties. I would agree that I typically try to be assertive but also cooperative in conflict. I think it is important to meet everyone’s needs while still advocating for my own, and preserve relationships through sustainable solutions. If I am in a hurry or a compromise is obvious and seems fair to everyone, I will sometimes compromise instead of collaborating. I am accommodating in that I try to think of the good of the group and the others involved and I really do think emotions have an important role to play. I do find conflict stressful and I used to avoid it a lot more often than I do now. Sometimes I still practice avoidance when the conflict is about something that I don’t really care about. Often I will handle conflicts with avoidance initially, until I have more information to decide whether engaging is really worth the effort and energy. Even though I scored very lowly on the competing scale, on occasion I can be more aggressive in conflicts with family or others I know very well, especially if I have tried other methods of managing the conflict and failed.

Moral Superiority

Conflict dynamics are affected by the amount of social mobility in the system, the level and quality of communication between the parties, the scarcity of resources, the leadership styles in the parties, the amount of group solidarity, and the extent to which group members feel that their claims are legitimate. I also think that the way conflict is waged results to a great degree from the environment in which it ensues. Individuals and groups are more likely to engage in explicit conflict when they feel that there are not effective or legitimate alternatives for voicing their concerns and achieving justice. For example, paramilitaries may take up arms when groups feel that the government it biased or lacks the willingness or capacity to address their concerns.

Humans tend to be very willing to commit atrocious acts under the guises of justice, liberty and peace. I think this is because these are viewed as universal ideals that all humans are entitled to. Consequently, the pursuit of these goals is not only legitimized but carries significant moral weight and is difficult for outsiders to challenge without losing their own moral credibility. Therefore, the risk of punishment or resistance towards humans acting in the name of these ideals is greatly reduced, and it becomes not only safe but admirable for them to engage in these acts, which are seen as contributing to the common good, or as a temporary state of necessary and justified upheaval.

It All Comes Down to Self Interest

The small conflicts in my life typically end with inaction or avoidance, because I am one of those people who tend to let small things go rather than confront them. Usually in these cases the conflict dissipates or I adapt to the situation. Other times, the small conflict may later return in the form of a more pervasive conflict. Larger conflicts typically end with some sort of problem solving, generally in the form of a conversation with the others in the conflict. For example, a conflict with my roommates would typically end by us talking about the issues and coming up with a solution that works for everyone., maybe a new way of doing things. Sometimes in these conversations the solution is simple but other times it requires a complete restructuring of the relationship between myself and the other person. Recognition of our interdependence or a feeling either that things have gotten exhaustingly difficult to bear or that fixing the problem would be more beneficial and simpler than continuing the conflict contribute to their resolution.

In the world around me, I notice that conflicts typically only end when there is some sort of stalemate, when either or both parties recognize that continuing the conflict is costly to them and that ending the conflict may in fact be more beneficial. People’s behaviors in conflicts are typically based on self-interest, at least on some level. I also think that power has a huge effect on how conflicts end, what the outcome is and whether it sticks.

Miscommunication and Unattainable Goals Meet Conflict

I try to handle conflicts immediately, but obviously it is inevitable that some conflicts and arguments will ultimately escalate. The factors that seem to play the largest role in escalating a conflict tend to be that of miscommunication and unattainable goals. These two factors can not only delay the resolution of a conflict, but also ultimately cause enough stress and tension to escalate the conflict much further. It would be unfair for me to say that the other party in my conflicts is always responsible for the escalation; I play an equal and sometimes greater role in the process of conflict escalation. I manage to contribute to the escalation by (in a lack of other words) being really stubborn. While at times a solution may be placed in front of me, yet I ignore it because it is not the exact solution that I wanted. The concepts of miscommunication and unattainable goals escalate conflicts in my life because these seem to be the most present in my life. Many times conflicts have arose and escalated due to miscommunication in both person, and even more so over the Internet. Unattainable goals present a challenge because having an unattainable goal within a conflict means it will never be reached, and without some sort of sacrifice, the conflict will continue to escalate until there is a clear winner.

Interpersonal Conflicts...

When dealing with my own personal conflicts I do tend to see a pattern. It seems that the majority of the conflicts in my life, no matter the severity of the conflict, they all take place in an interpersonal setting. Meaning it is always between me and one other person. I am rare for group conflicts or any other type. Knowing that my personal conflicts are mostly focused on an interpersonal level, I can begin to search for what causes these problems and why this pattern is occurring. When analyzing my interpersonal conflicts I decided to apply the theory of basic human needs. I applied this method of thinking because I realized that all of my conflicts that occur between another individual are largely focused on one of us not receiving what we expect from the other. I also noticed that because my needs that I had come to expect were not being met, I was doing what was in my power to achieve these needs, no matter the cost (sometimes a friendship).

We All Have Our Basic Human Needs...

Basic Human Needs Theory was easily the most compelling and applicable theory I have learned to this point. The theory speaks of humans having a certain set of needs, and that if these are not met, will do anything within their power to achieve them. I really like this theory because I can also contribute the fundamentals of the theory to my criminology class and use it as an approach to both question and analyze deviance in our society. Theories can be confusing, and while I may not have questions about applying the theories to conflicts yet, I will ultimately have to question the application to certain conflicts if I hope to be a successful conflict mediator. To me there is no one theory of conflict or one reason that it occurs. I firmly believe that each person is biological, physically, and mentally different from one another. Due to these multiple reasons and factors, we see them play into the role of conflict and deviance.

Escalation and Passive-Aggresivity

My conflicts usually escalate in a conflict spiral model, in which escalation is interplay between myself and the other party. I’m generally a pretty non-confrontational person, so I don’t approach conflict as a contender, but I’m definitely reactive enough that someone cannot push to escalate the conflict without eliciting a response from me. I generally don’t enjoy conflict escalation, but sometimes I feel like if you are really upset with the other person, you can get some sort of strange satisfaction out of the escalation process. Psychologically, the processes of blame and reduced empathy can make the conflict easier to handle in the short term. Following stereotypical female behavior, I tend to engage in passive-aggressive behaviors like gossiping. This is really a form of escalation because it is an effort at group solidarity- you want people on your side, backing you up. Feeling like you have this support can be gratifying but also contributes to escalation because it makes you feel that your goal is legitimate. I think I usually tend to contribute to escalation when I am angry or feel a sense of blame towards someone. Personally, when I feel afraid or shameful I am more likely to internalize those feelings than to allow them to escalate a conflict with another person. While feelings of shame or fear may change my attitude or perceptions of the situation, on reflection I seldom act on those. If I do, I reframe my feelings as hostile. Personally I think I need these feelings of anger and vindication to act.

Personal Patterns of Micro Theory...

Most prevalently, I see my conflicts following the model of Curle's Sliding Scale. This is mainly because my resolution efforts are usually very fluid pertaining to the environment I am addressing the conflict in. I also like to be very clear about what mode the resolution is in and this lends itself well to the four very clear categories in Curle's theory. I also agree with Lederach's idea of Episode vs Epicenter. To me, this is really getting at resolving a conflict as opposed to just dealing with a crisis situation. If an epicenter is properly addressed, this should prevent a relapse as is allowed for in Kriesberg. While the above explanations are all true for my own perception of conflict, they are theoretical conceptions and in reality my conflicts often fall into patterns of miscommunication and establishing effective communication becomes the conflict in the forefront.

Macro Theory Application...

The theories I find most compelling are the two sides of the Consensus School. I tend to look for opportunities for social progress within conflict and these theories seem to provide an effective thought structure for achieving this. Most of the theories make sense within themselves and the only questions I could see arising would be distinguishing between seemingly similar theories and how imperative it is that they are actually separate theories. I see a lot of similarities in theories that claim to be distinct and I think preserving an open door policy in terms of changing your perspective on a conflict is essential to addressing what is important in the moment. I would say that if I could call myself 'native' to any one theory it would be Miscommunication because this is where most of my conflicts arise from. Usually, if I can figure out what both parties are truly feeling in the situation, it ends up that the conflict arose simply because the parties were not agreeing on what to call feelings that were ultimately shared.

Patterns of Conflict

I am generally a pretty non-confrontational person, so the conflicts in my life really tend to follow a spiral sort of model in which they escalate and deescalate slightly over time but rarely come to a head. In this way I really think my conflicts are cyclical and repetitive in nature, and therefore Lederach’s model of conflicts best represents the conflicts in my life. For example, I have a conflict with my friend in which she is trying to prevent me from spending time with another friend because she thinks the relationship is detrimental, while at the same time I don’t think she has the right to make that kind of decision for me, and I feel that her assessment of the situation is biased. This basically is playing out in a non-confrontational manner for the time being but is a conflict all the same. The issue at hand is embedded in a complicated history of the situation, our relationships with the third person, and our relationship with one another, and changes in the structure of these relationships over time have altered and escalated the conflict. The conflict is also of a repetitive nature in that it tends to escalate and deescalate based on the issues at the time and changes in each of our personal lives and our relationships with one another, along with when and how other friends try to intervene.

Another conflict in my life is between making time to work at my job, do schoolwork, do extra curricular activities, spend time with friends and family, sleep, and exercise. Like many people at Juniata (and in general), I have a pretty hectic schedule, and often this creates conflict, for example if I need to schedule a group meeting or I have a big project that requires a large chunk of my time. I think this conflict could be described using Lederach’s model, but I also think that Kriesberg’s model would work for it. I typically work through these conflicts in predictable ways; starting off very stressed out, organizing myself, prioritizing, cutting back on sleep, taking care of my responsibilities, catching up on those tasks I have neglected, and using this as an example to myself of why feeling overwhelmed is unnecessary and unhelpful.

Macro Theory Time!

To me, the most compelling theories were the basic human needs, conflict is functional, and social identity theories. I really like these theories, most likely because combined they are similar to my own native theory of conflict, which is that conflict is natural and can be positive when utilized correctly, and that conflict usually happens because individuals feel that their needs are unmet, their interests unheard, or their identity threatened. I have trouble with the consensus school theory that conflict is dysfunctional, because if you look at humans and our society itself it seems that conflict is unavoidable, and the conditions they describe as norms of society—harmony, consensus, and cooperation, are only achieved intermittently when we face the conflicts in our lives (underlying or manifest) and use them to improve our relationships, the way resources are distributed, the larger structure,- you name it. If we didn’t have conflict, in my opinion, that would be dysfunctional. I also have trouble with the theory “aggression is innate,” because I tend to feel that conflict is innate, but aggression as a response to conflict is not. One question I have is whether anyone has expanded on this seemingly evolutionary-based theory to a more modern theory viewing conflict, but not aggression, as innate. Another question I have is how coercion theory views the parties to the conflict. For example, does it label those who are “higher” in the system as responsible for conflict, or does it try to avoid blame? Does it recognize the damage that such (social?) conflict can do to people at all levels of the structure?

Analyzing My Conflicts; Facing Them Effectively

When I think about the conflicts in my own life and in the world that I live in, I sometimes feel overwhelmed. As a young adult, I am still trying to find the perfect balance in my life between school, friends, family, work, sports, and all of the items in-between. I am constantly busy with items that I don’t mind dealing with and others that I completely try to ignore. Just this year I have been faced with multiple conflicts regarding friends and relationships, family, and just personal (inner) battles.

Thinking of my conflicts in terms of an analysis level, I am able to see some details much more clearly. Using an analysis approach within my conflicts I am able to hone in on what is causing the conflict, why it is important, and what are some options for overcoming it. I see myself finding conflicts easier to deal with when I really take the time to see what is “actually” going on. Conflicts may not always be an easy fix when it comes to my life, but the more time I spend going through college, the more I realize how important certain conflicts can be. It’s hugely important to myself to fix conflicts as quickly and effectively as I can, and using an analysis approach can greatly increase my chances of doing so.

Working With A Group; Conquering Group Conflict.

Group work is always interesting. You meet new people and you learn to adapt and focus on achieving the goal at hand. With all groups, there is inevitably conflict. Most of the time these conflicts are easily resolved, but it is better to be prepared and expect what possible conflicts could arise.

For my group I expect us to work very well together. We all get along and are quite good friends. However, despite the friendship we will ultimately have conflicts that we will need to work around. The biggest and most notable conflict that our group has been faced with thus far is that of scheduling meeting times. Due to sports, clubs, and jobs, almost all of our schedules conflict. This makes it extremely difficult to progress together on a topic or project.

So as a group, with little time to meet, how can I expect to make any real progress? Well, we all share a common idea of staying completely on task and making as much progress as possible in our small meeting times. We have spoke and decided that we will all be assigned specific tasks that MUST be completed prior to when we arrive to the next meeting. We are all equally held responsible for our own personal tasks regarding the project.

Another note in regards to group work, and our group in particular is how we all bring something new to the table. Seeing as we all have different majors and skills, we are able to all bring something unique and creative to the group. If we are able to maximize these skills we will be able to create a project that is exceptional and completely different from another group.

Conflict Analysis: Rural Oil Drilling

I was trying to think of a conflict that affects my life but goes beyond a personal conflict to a community conflict, and I had a realization that there was a huge conflict going on right in front of me while I was at home this summer! In my hometown and the surrounding area, there is a lot of oil drilling going on. Big companies are coming in with their rigs and sending in their employees, paying people a lot of money to get the oil that lies beneath their property. This is something that the companies and workers are doing to continue making a profit and carry out their job, but it is something that is creating divisions in the local community. While some people are benefiting greatly financially from the oil drilling, others are pointing out potential negative effects. One problem with this is that often the individuals who are benefiting already have a lot of land, power, and financial resources.

The primary parties in this conflict are the oil companies, their workers, the local officials, landowners who are leasing to the oil companies, and community members concerned about environmental damage and other changes that come from the industry’s influx. On one level, this conflict is about the basic needs of control over land and recognition of each party’s individual concerns. It also comes down to a difference in values, which range from environmental protection to monetary gain to the use of nonrenewable resources. Interests include how immigrant workers are treated in a community that traditionally has had very little diversity, or for example, who benefits from changes in the local economy prompted by these new (although temporary) populations. There are also some communication issues, and some problems related to data and facts, namely, who gets access to information regarding the drilling, and if that information is distributed, then how so? For example, do local residents have a right to understand the effects that oil drilling could potentially have on the fish population in the local lake? In the absence of access to legitimate data and facts, many residents are relying on the local rumor mill, which may only exacerbate the conflict. As another example, many residents are concerned about damage to local roads from the large oilrigs driving on them constantly. There needs to be communication regarding these concerns and how they might be addressed.

This conflict can be addressed at a number of levels, although I would suggest that the relationships or subsystem level would be best. At the issues level, it is simply about can we drill and how is the environment protected, but approaching the conflict from the relationships level aims to help the companies, landowners, workers, and rural population work together in a way that is, long-term, most beneficial for all. At the subsystem level, we could look at the oil industry and the rural way of life, and at the system level we could consider laws and regulations surrounding the oil industry.

The Effects of an Awareness of Analysis...

Thinking about conflict in terms of analysis, I am forced to find the true root of my present conflicts and be really honest with myself as a result - and this has already begun to make my conflicts more manageable and more productive. I would even go so far as to say that by being increasingly involved with my conflicts I am simultaneously discovering more of what I really want from the situation and also getting it.

Coincidentally enough, probably one of the biggest conflicts of my life is echoed in a scene study that I am doing this semester. Thinking about the real-life situation in terms of analysis has already proved wildly effective and what was a very rocky relationship is better than it has ever been. However, within the scene that reflects my actual conflict, analyzing both the emotions of myself and the other real-life party as well as the characters using methods from class has revealed one of the deepest character connections I have ever achieved as an actor. Thinking in terms of analysis, especially with conflict (considering the potential for progress within conflict) has imposed a new level of patience and transparency within myself and how I deal with many situations that represent different degrees of conflict.

Reflections on the Arts Funding Group...

I am more than pleased with my group so far. Normally, you have to gauge whether there are members in your group that might let you down in terms of holding up their end of the work load but I could tell from the start that everyone in the group had their own reasons for picking Arts Funding and that meant that they were personally invested. My expectations for group process are that we can maintain the healthy level of inclusive discussion and effective revision of our idea strain. Not out of the norm, I would hope that our ability to accomplish the task falls nothing short of our best work. I have already experienced the differences between my approach to a paper like this as a theatre major as opposed to other possibly more "academic" majors. In general I take a very organic approach to all my writing and have trouble integrating the more academic structural elements so I am excited to have such-minded people in the group to help keep this on track. Likewise, as I am someone pursuing a career as an artist, I am interested to work with peers who have an exclusively audience-based understanding of at least my specific field.

Conflict for me is like woodworking...

Conflict for me is like wood working. I have always loved to work with my hands and make things but all my training has been hands on and in the firld. I like to see what materials I have and then make my own plan from there as opposed to reading prescribed directions. As I try to build something new I plan extensively and try to be thorough so that my work lasts and this is similar to my approach to conflicts in my life. I don’t mind conflict because I think it is necessary for progression and creativity but I try to wage the negotiation as thoroughly as possible so that my work lasts and a conflict doesn’t relapse or get resolved sloppily. However, I am also stubborn about the way I envisioned something I am making and can be the same way surrounding a conflict I am involved with.

Conflict in terms of my life...

Conflict in my life at the moment is starting to become more emotionally affective than I think I have ever allowed it to be in the recent past. I think that the level of how honest I want to be with myself and what I need from a situation influences how I approach a conflict greatly. I am always a supporter of compromise but sometimes, I compromise my own interests right out of the equation and end up feeling too much in service to others because I overestimated how much I could forfeit for the sake of agreement.

Recently, it has been conflicts in certain relationships that have come to matter the most simply because I have a feeling of guilt that there is conflict in the first place with these people.

This semester, I would most like to learn how to be honest to myself in the midst of mediating my conflicts. I feel that I am actually doing both parties and the situation as a whole a disservice by not being honest about what I need as it will just put certain things “on the back burner” until they become a direct issue. I often place myself in the short stool at Kritek’s “uneven table” and would like to move towards establishing a feeling of a level table with all my conflicts.

Group Expectations

It was interesting because at our first group meeting my group got along really well. - Our meeting was productive and from my point of view I think we will really be able to explore the issues we are studying effectively and all have the opportunity to see them in a new light. Still, right before we left the meeting, we were talking and all admitted how much we dislike group work! We kind of laughed about it but I think it is true that many people really don’t like that loss of control and independence, especially in our culture, where individualism and independence are so valued.

Nevertheless, I except that our group will get along well and be able to produce a successful project. We are all interested in the subject we are studying and willing to make small personal sacrifices for the good of the group. Also I feel that we all communicate very well and want to make an effort to keep communication open throughout the semester, so that’s a huge factor. I think that there will be some disparity about how different members of the group view issues academically, which I think is a really positive thing because it will allow us all to challenge the way we see things and to have to truly consider why we feel that way.

At this point I don’t really have a feel for the exact personalities in our group. I feel like we haven’t quite “warmed up to” one another enough for those to emerge, so it’s difficult to predict the effects they will have. I know that I personally tend to be a bit reserved until I get comfortable with the other group members, and its possible that they feel the same way. One thing I do know is that we are all very busy, which will probably make it challenging to meet together as a group sometimes, but we chose a permanent meeting time for the semester, so hopefully everyone can keep that time free each week in case we need to meet.

Conflict Is Like Dancing

Conflict for me is like dancing. It is something I am learning how to do, and I know that no matter how much I practice, I can always try it in a new form, and I can always get better. There are so many styles of dancing, and everyone even tends to have their own personal style no matter what the type of dance. The people you dance alongside, whether they mean to be or not, often become your teachers, if in nothing more than providing examples of the best way to execute a particular move, or an example of what not to do. Dancing requires me to use muscles that maybe aren’t as developed as they should be. Sometimes when I’m done dancing I feel euphoric but other times I am in pain from stretching myself in so many different directions. Depending on the day, dancing can make me feel better, calmer, or it can leave me feeling frustrated and inferior to those around me. Just like when I first begin to learn a dance, conflict can feel chaotic and difficult to follow, but the more I practice the more comfortable I become in the steps and in moving appropriately together, or apart from, the others on the floor. When I learn a new dance, it is a lot like confronting a new conflict. Each one is still confusing at first, but become progressively less so as the common steps, jumps, and turns become natural parts of the process to me. I am always nervous before a dance performance, unsure of how its going to work out. I like to dance more for myself than as a performance for others, so I prefer to dance alone, for enjoyment, or in the back of the group if it is a performance. Sometimes after a performance I find myself looking back and thinking about what I could have done better. Just like a dance that is perfectly performed, a resolved conflict leaves me with a sense of satisfaction. It is often a feeling of solidarity and group accomplishment with the people I worked alongside.

Conflict For Me

In my life right now, I feel that conflict is very present just under the surface. I feel kind of on edge about the whole thing, and the fact that I am actively avoiding it is only making the tension worse. I know that I will need to confront all the conflicts, both internal and external, soon, for my own health and the health of the relationships with others in my life. I think I feel this way because a lot of the conflicts in my life right now feel important, like whether or not and how I confront them can have a legitimate impact on my future, and on the long-term status of my relationships with others. I think these conflicts also weigh heavily on my mind because I feel somewhat powerless in the situations.

Not all the conflicts in my life matter on the level that they need to be confronted, though. You know the saying “you have to choose your battles?” Well, I think that’s very true when I think about the conflict in my own life. Does it matter that my roommate ate my banana? I mean, I was a little upset at the time, but looking back I’m glad I didn’t say a word about it. Sometimes with little things like that confronting it in itself creates more unnecessary conflict than its worth. I think its important to recognize when you may just be overreacting, or when its good just to yield to someone else, recognizing that there are also occasions when they do the same for you. It’s a balance of sorts.

This semester I want to learn different methods for handling conflict, including how people may naturally deal with conflict, and how we can either accommodate these methods or coax them (and ourselves!) into more healthy conflict skills. I also want to get a better handle on the stages of conflict, and on the best times, places, and ways to intervene.

Conflict Is Just Like Baseball

Conflict for me is like playing sports. You find yourself being pushed and you continuously try to come out on top. No matter how well you play; you may still lose the game. Sometimes you have people by your side helping you achieve your goal, but you always find yourself on the opposite side of another person. Some conflicts can last months or years; others may last just hours. You can even view yourself as a fan who watches their team succeed every year, but it’s important to note that another person continues to watch their team disappoint them year in and year out. I think for me, relating conflict to sports is easy because I am very athletic and love competition. For me baseball is my preferred sport. It makes the perfect metaphor for conflict. Baseball is a sport that, when in season, is played almost every day. If you relate that to conflicts you can notice we are often faced with a conflict day in and day out. The reason a team is successful is largely due to the teamwork aspect they continuously demonstrate on the field. I’m a firm believer in allowing other people in and helping me with issues or conflicts I am faced with. Due to this, these conflicts are usually taken care of quickly and effectively.

Conflict In My Life

I feel as though no matter what I do in life, I will always be in the presence of conflict. However, I know that I have complete control over how greatly I allow any and all conflicts to impact me, and even more control over how I handle the conflict. In all honesty I feel as though conflicts that affect me personally are much more visible and because of this play a much larger role in my life than those going on in the world around me. Conflict matter within my life currently ranges from the daily stresses of college life to arguments with both my parents and my friends. These conflicts are present in my life because as I grow as a person, I realize my vision and my opinion on things can be drastically different then another’s point of view. When it comes to learning about conflict in this class, I really hope to achieve two different things. The first goal I have set for this course would be learning to fully identify what conflicts are occurring in my life, other’s lives, and those on a global level. The second item I hope this class will provide for me are strategies in which to deal with these different types of conflicts.

Conflict for me is like...

Conflict for me is like a sport, in particular horse riding. Ive ridden for many years, so as a generalisation, i feel very comfortable on a horse, it's something i can do to switch off and get away from. Cconflict can sometimes been seen like this, as when an argument gets heated for example, my thought process is disturbed, and everything in normal everyday life, seems to disappear. In order for me to be successful in horse riding, there must be a strong bond or connection with horse and rider. In relation to conflict, i think the outcome is often reflective on the relationship between the people participating in the situation. Nonetheless when asked to compete on someone else's horse, i almost always fall into my safely net. For example, i wouldn't try and push the same buttons as i would say my own horse, there is a process which needs to be followed. sometimes i see horse riding as a great way to escape the norms of every day life, to me its a very personable sport. This is reflective of conflict in my life, as i prefer conflict to be kept personable and behind close doors. normally conflict occurs within my closest relationships as i dislike my personal matters to be public. However with horse riding, i also enjoy teaching and helping others when they have problems. This also can be reflective of conflict in my life, I've often had to mediate situations.