Patterns of Conflict

I am generally a pretty non-confrontational person, so the conflicts in my life really tend to follow a spiral sort of model in which they escalate and deescalate slightly over time but rarely come to a head. In this way I really think my conflicts are cyclical and repetitive in nature, and therefore Lederach’s model of conflicts best represents the conflicts in my life. For example, I have a conflict with my friend in which she is trying to prevent me from spending time with another friend because she thinks the relationship is detrimental, while at the same time I don’t think she has the right to make that kind of decision for me, and I feel that her assessment of the situation is biased. This basically is playing out in a non-confrontational manner for the time being but is a conflict all the same. The issue at hand is embedded in a complicated history of the situation, our relationships with the third person, and our relationship with one another, and changes in the structure of these relationships over time have altered and escalated the conflict. The conflict is also of a repetitive nature in that it tends to escalate and deescalate based on the issues at the time and changes in each of our personal lives and our relationships with one another, along with when and how other friends try to intervene.

Another conflict in my life is between making time to work at my job, do schoolwork, do extra curricular activities, spend time with friends and family, sleep, and exercise. Like many people at Juniata (and in general), I have a pretty hectic schedule, and often this creates conflict, for example if I need to schedule a group meeting or I have a big project that requires a large chunk of my time. I think this conflict could be described using Lederach’s model, but I also think that Kriesberg’s model would work for it. I typically work through these conflicts in predictable ways; starting off very stressed out, organizing myself, prioritizing, cutting back on sleep, taking care of my responsibilities, catching up on those tasks I have neglected, and using this as an example to myself of why feeling overwhelmed is unnecessary and unhelpful.