Reflecting on My Group

When the semester first began, I was not very excited about the idea of a long-term group project. I have never been a big fan of group work. In high school I often felt that I ended up carrying the burden of the work in group projects. Here at Juniata, that doesn’t happen as often, but my schedule is so hectic that finding time to meet with a group is very stressful. In either case, I have always preferred to work independently.

Looking back on the semester, this experience working in a group was relatively positive and met my expectations. While it was still stressful to meet, we managed. I think one of the main attributes our group had was flexibility. We did not stick to the meeting time set at the beginning of the semester, but found the time that worked best for everyone’s schedule, each instance we needed to meet. My group was also very good at communicating through email and text messages, which minimized misunderstandings. About myself, I learned that I value efficiency. It upsets me when people are late or waste time. I also have trouble being productive if there is too much information coming at me at once. This seemed to happen to other members of the group as well. We would be discussing the ideas for the project and what we wanted to write about, and it would become very overwhelming and frustrating for the person typing the paper at that time. Some members of the group were very detail-oriented while others were good at making connections between concepts. Learning to draw on one another’s strengths took some time but made us a more successful group as the semester wore on. In the end, I learned a lot more from the project than I would have on my own because I was exposed to not only my own viewpoints and what is in the literature, but also got two other insightful perspectives on the issues at hand. Even though I still prefer to work independently, this experience showed me that group work can be a very positive experience if there is a lot of clear, open communication, and when everyone in the group is willing to pull their weight.

Observing Myself in Conflict

After taking this course, it is easier to understand my own choices and behaviors in conflict. For example, I have a conflict with my mom regarding how often and for how long I come home. Because I have a collaborative conflict style, it is very important to me to have open communication regarding my own and the other’s parties needs and interests in the conflict situation. For example, I feel deceived and frustrated if I find out about an important interest of the other party after a decision has already been reached. In this example, I decided to go on a trip over winter break, and after I had already made these plans, my mom expressed negative feelings about the relatively short amount of time I will be spending at home over the break. I was upset and frustrated when she expressed these feelings to me. Reflecting on what I have learned this semester, not only was I upset about the lack of communication, which is very important to me, but I also felt that my identity was being attacked in some ways. I care about my family very deeply and felt that my mom was suggesting otherwise. I place a lot of value on the time I spend with my family, but I know that I will not always have a lot of physical time with them, so it is important that I feel I can effectively preserve those relationships from a distance as well. At the same time, my independence is very important to me, and any threat to that makes me somewhat defensive. As a collaborator, it is important to me that everyone’s interests and needs are met whenever possible and that relationships are preserved, so I try to ask questions and gain input from my mom before making decisions about what I will do over semester breaks, and weigh these in making my own decision. After I found out about her feelings regarding my traveling over the semester break, we talked about the situation. I found out that she is worried I am not taking enough down time and am burning myself out, and that she is concerned about spending time with me before graduation, since I will most likely be moving or traveling again. We were able to come to a collaborative decision in that I will only be home for a short time over winter break, but I will spend spring break at home rather than going on a vacation or a volunteer trip, like I typically do. The fact that we were able to resolve this conflict fairly successfully really exemplifies the importance of what we learned this semester regarding listening and communicating and taking the time to understand what the other parties want and need, while still standing up for your own interests. It is definitely easier now to see conflict as a phenomenon somewhat separate from the people involved, and I find that I am often able (although it is difficult to actually do so), to step outside of the conflict to examine my own behavior and what is really happening in the conflict.