Reflecting on My Group

When the semester first began, I was not very excited about the idea of a long-term group project. I have never been a big fan of group work. In high school I often felt that I ended up carrying the burden of the work in group projects. Here at Juniata, that doesn’t happen as often, but my schedule is so hectic that finding time to meet with a group is very stressful. In either case, I have always preferred to work independently.

Looking back on the semester, this experience working in a group was relatively positive and met my expectations. While it was still stressful to meet, we managed. I think one of the main attributes our group had was flexibility. We did not stick to the meeting time set at the beginning of the semester, but found the time that worked best for everyone’s schedule, each instance we needed to meet. My group was also very good at communicating through email and text messages, which minimized misunderstandings. About myself, I learned that I value efficiency. It upsets me when people are late or waste time. I also have trouble being productive if there is too much information coming at me at once. This seemed to happen to other members of the group as well. We would be discussing the ideas for the project and what we wanted to write about, and it would become very overwhelming and frustrating for the person typing the paper at that time. Some members of the group were very detail-oriented while others were good at making connections between concepts. Learning to draw on one another’s strengths took some time but made us a more successful group as the semester wore on. In the end, I learned a lot more from the project than I would have on my own because I was exposed to not only my own viewpoints and what is in the literature, but also got two other insightful perspectives on the issues at hand. Even though I still prefer to work independently, this experience showed me that group work can be a very positive experience if there is a lot of clear, open communication, and when everyone in the group is willing to pull their weight.

Observing Myself in Conflict

After taking this course, it is easier to understand my own choices and behaviors in conflict. For example, I have a conflict with my mom regarding how often and for how long I come home. Because I have a collaborative conflict style, it is very important to me to have open communication regarding my own and the other’s parties needs and interests in the conflict situation. For example, I feel deceived and frustrated if I find out about an important interest of the other party after a decision has already been reached. In this example, I decided to go on a trip over winter break, and after I had already made these plans, my mom expressed negative feelings about the relatively short amount of time I will be spending at home over the break. I was upset and frustrated when she expressed these feelings to me. Reflecting on what I have learned this semester, not only was I upset about the lack of communication, which is very important to me, but I also felt that my identity was being attacked in some ways. I care about my family very deeply and felt that my mom was suggesting otherwise. I place a lot of value on the time I spend with my family, but I know that I will not always have a lot of physical time with them, so it is important that I feel I can effectively preserve those relationships from a distance as well. At the same time, my independence is very important to me, and any threat to that makes me somewhat defensive. As a collaborator, it is important to me that everyone’s interests and needs are met whenever possible and that relationships are preserved, so I try to ask questions and gain input from my mom before making decisions about what I will do over semester breaks, and weigh these in making my own decision. After I found out about her feelings regarding my traveling over the semester break, we talked about the situation. I found out that she is worried I am not taking enough down time and am burning myself out, and that she is concerned about spending time with me before graduation, since I will most likely be moving or traveling again. We were able to come to a collaborative decision in that I will only be home for a short time over winter break, but I will spend spring break at home rather than going on a vacation or a volunteer trip, like I typically do. The fact that we were able to resolve this conflict fairly successfully really exemplifies the importance of what we learned this semester regarding listening and communicating and taking the time to understand what the other parties want and need, while still standing up for your own interests. It is definitely easier now to see conflict as a phenomenon somewhat separate from the people involved, and I find that I am often able (although it is difficult to actually do so), to step outside of the conflict to examine my own behavior and what is really happening in the conflict.

Let me accommodate you at my expense!

Throughout the semester I have really honed in on what conflict is, how to identify it, and how to possibly solve it. Along with learning about conflict, I have been able to apply concepts learned in class to my own life and my own conflict style. In class we learned that there are many different conflict styles including ones such as competition, compromising, and accommodating.

As a person who is faced with conflict on a daily basis, I have had plenty of experiences and chances to explore my own conflict style. I really try to maintain any peace within a situation when I have the opportunity to do so, and because of this I tend to follow an accommodating conflict style. This type of style focuses on maintaining the harmony and agreeing with the other side. I am a firm believer compromising and finding a resolution that will work for both sides thus making both parties happy, however I am more of an accommodating person because I tend to give the other side more, and will ultimately jeopardize a little bit of my own happiness to see the other side reach what they want.

Ending My Conflicts... Quickly.

Conflicts ultimately come to end. For me, my own conflicts tend to end in a similar way. I’m not a person who likes to drag out arguments and will do whatever I can to quickly resolve any issues currently facing me. I firmly believe that the reason my conflicts end early is due to the fact that I hardly feel like using the needed energy to fight over something that can usually be easily solved.

In the world around me, conflicts seem to both follow my own style of using quick resolutions, yet other conflicts are seen as dragging on for years. In a personal belief I feel like the size of the conflict plays an immense role. For example, a quick resolution is much more achievable in an interpersonal setting versus a quick resolution in a conflict between countries (war/politics). These large-scale conflicts usually take a much longer and detailed resolution.

My Conflict Style: Hybrid

According to the quiz we took in class, my own personal conflict style is collaboration, followed very closely by accommodation. The only style I scored especially low on is dominating. Reflecting on these results and thinking about my personal conflict experiences, I think that my conflict style varies significantly based on the type of conflict, the context, and the other parties. I would agree that I typically try to be assertive but also cooperative in conflict. I think it is important to meet everyone’s needs while still advocating for my own, and preserve relationships through sustainable solutions. If I am in a hurry or a compromise is obvious and seems fair to everyone, I will sometimes compromise instead of collaborating. I am accommodating in that I try to think of the good of the group and the others involved and I really do think emotions have an important role to play. I do find conflict stressful and I used to avoid it a lot more often than I do now. Sometimes I still practice avoidance when the conflict is about something that I don’t really care about. Often I will handle conflicts with avoidance initially, until I have more information to decide whether engaging is really worth the effort and energy. Even though I scored very lowly on the competing scale, on occasion I can be more aggressive in conflicts with family or others I know very well, especially if I have tried other methods of managing the conflict and failed.

Moral Superiority

Conflict dynamics are affected by the amount of social mobility in the system, the level and quality of communication between the parties, the scarcity of resources, the leadership styles in the parties, the amount of group solidarity, and the extent to which group members feel that their claims are legitimate. I also think that the way conflict is waged results to a great degree from the environment in which it ensues. Individuals and groups are more likely to engage in explicit conflict when they feel that there are not effective or legitimate alternatives for voicing their concerns and achieving justice. For example, paramilitaries may take up arms when groups feel that the government it biased or lacks the willingness or capacity to address their concerns.

Humans tend to be very willing to commit atrocious acts under the guises of justice, liberty and peace. I think this is because these are viewed as universal ideals that all humans are entitled to. Consequently, the pursuit of these goals is not only legitimized but carries significant moral weight and is difficult for outsiders to challenge without losing their own moral credibility. Therefore, the risk of punishment or resistance towards humans acting in the name of these ideals is greatly reduced, and it becomes not only safe but admirable for them to engage in these acts, which are seen as contributing to the common good, or as a temporary state of necessary and justified upheaval.

It All Comes Down to Self Interest

The small conflicts in my life typically end with inaction or avoidance, because I am one of those people who tend to let small things go rather than confront them. Usually in these cases the conflict dissipates or I adapt to the situation. Other times, the small conflict may later return in the form of a more pervasive conflict. Larger conflicts typically end with some sort of problem solving, generally in the form of a conversation with the others in the conflict. For example, a conflict with my roommates would typically end by us talking about the issues and coming up with a solution that works for everyone., maybe a new way of doing things. Sometimes in these conversations the solution is simple but other times it requires a complete restructuring of the relationship between myself and the other person. Recognition of our interdependence or a feeling either that things have gotten exhaustingly difficult to bear or that fixing the problem would be more beneficial and simpler than continuing the conflict contribute to their resolution.

In the world around me, I notice that conflicts typically only end when there is some sort of stalemate, when either or both parties recognize that continuing the conflict is costly to them and that ending the conflict may in fact be more beneficial. People’s behaviors in conflicts are typically based on self-interest, at least on some level. I also think that power has a huge effect on how conflicts end, what the outcome is and whether it sticks.